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Sooo... Remember a while back when I said I was going to ask this girl in my Ceramics class out? How I wasn't sure if I should, seeing as I have all this work to do?

Well, I can't ask her out.

I found out from my friend James just a short while ago that apparently she already has a boyfriend. Someone she met over the internet a good while ago who doesn't even live in this freaking state. (Seems he tried to ask her out a few weeks ago himself.)

This has really put me in a slump. She was the first girl aside from family and Anita that I could really talk to without stuttering. I was really hoping I could get her to like me as more than a friend. Guess that isn't an option now...

So, I dunno what to do now. As a person, I'm actually qite lonely. It's why I spend so much time on this site. Nobody really wants to hang out with me on campus, and girls seem to want to keep as far away from me as possible. This girl was one of the first not to do that, and now she's out of the question. My first potential link to a social life outside my computer... poof. Gone.

So I'm really in a bit of a depressed mood right now. The one time I went to a social event everyone offered me either cigarrettes or beers, and that's not my thing. Why is it that a guy can't try to remain clean through college and have friends at the same time?! I mean sure, I have my friend Memphis, but he's so into his studies this year that he never has time to do anything, and I'd hang out with James, but a lot of his friends kinda creep me out.

So what do I do? I just sit in my room all day. I leave to go to class and to eat. I don't have friends that come to visit. I don't have any friends to go visit. And none of the places where you can go to make friends have people worth being friends with.

I honestly don't know what the heck to do at this point...