literature

MLP - Pink Eggs and Ham

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By
Midnight-Cobra
Published:
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Literature Text

Doctor Faust presents: PINK EGGS AND HAM

Starring:
Pinkie Pie
A Non-Brony

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I am Pie

Pie am I

Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie!

That Pinkie Pie
That Pinkie Pie
I do not like that Pinkie Pie

Do you watch my friends and I?

I do not watch you Pinkie Pie.
Cross my heart and hope to fly!

Would you watch us here or there?

I would not watch you here or there.
I would not watch you anywhere.

So Cross my heart and hope to fly
I will not watch you Pinkie Pie.

Would you watch us in a tree?
Would you watch us out at sea?

I will not watch you in a tree
I will not watch you out at sea
I will not watch you here or there
I will not watch you anywhere
So cross my heart and hope to fly
I will not watch you Pinkie Pie

Would you watch us on a rock?
Would you watch us wearing socks?

Not on a rock
Not wearing socks
Not in a tree
Not out at sea
I will not watch you here or there
I will not watch you anywhere
So cross my heart and hope to fly
I will not watch you Pinkie Pie

Would you watch us in the sky?
Come on, silly! Don't be shy!

I would not watch you in the sky.

Come on now don't be a loon.
Would you watch us on the moon?

I would not watch you on the moon
Nor in the sky. Please leave me soon!

I will not watch you on a rock
I will not watch you wearing socks
I will not watch you in a tree
I will not watch you out at sea
I will not watch you here or there
I will not watch you anywhere
So cross my heart and hope to fly
I will not watch you Pinkie Pie

Space! Space!
Space! Space!
Would you watch us out in space?

Not out in space! Not on the moon!
Not in the sky! Buzz off, buffoon!

I will not watch you on a rock
I will not watch you wearing socks
I will not watch you in a tree
I will not watch you out at sea
I will not watch you here or there
I will not watch you anywhere
So cross my heart and hope to fly
I will not watch you Pinkie Pie

Hey! On a farm?
On Applejack's Farm!
Would you watch us on a farm?

I would not watch you on a farm.

Would you watch us in a race?

I will not watch you in a race.
Not on a farm. Not out in space.
Not in the sky. Not on the moon.
Please let me go you crazy toon!
Not on a rock. Not wearing socks.
Not in a tree. Not out at sea.
I will not watch you here or there.
I will not watch you anywhere!

You will not watch my friends and I?

I will not watch you Pinkie Pie.

Would you watch us with a mule?

I would not watch you with a mule.

Would you watch us in a school?

I will not watch you in a school.
I will not watch you with a mule
I will not watch you in a race.
Not on a farm. Not out in space.
Not in the sky. Not on the moon.
Please leave me be, you pink maroon!
Not on a rock. Not wearing socks.
Not in a tree. Not out at sea.
I will not watch you here or there.
I will not watch you ANYWHERE!

So cross my heart and hope to fly
And stick a cupcake in my eye
Eat an apple-cinnamon pie
I promise I don't tell a lie
I will not watch you Pinkie Pie!

You do not watch us that is true
But somehow I think if you do
You'll find the show's just right for you!

Pinkie Pie, if you'll just go,
Then fine, I'll watch your silly show.

…

Say… I like this show!
I do! I do! Well whaddaya know?!

And I would watch you in a school.
And I would watch you with a mule
And I would watch you in a race.
And on a farm. And out in space.
And in the sky. And on the moon.
This is a really great cartoon!

So I will watch you on a rock.
And I will watch you wearing socks.
And I will watch you in a tree.
And I will watch you out at sea.
And I will watch you here or there.
In fact, I'll watch you ANYWHERE!

I think I'll like being a brony!
So thank you! Thank you,
My Little Pony!
AND NOW, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER...
A DOCTOR SEUSS CROSSOVER WITH MY LITTLE PONY!!

What is this treachery?! It has naught to do with neither eggs nor ham!

Somehow, I think this is the sort of thing that everybody who watches the show goes through...


I have to give credit where credit is due. This idea was basically taken from this image by :iconadamrbi:: [link]

(I don't know why Silver the Hedgehog is there though...)

Still, hopefully I've changed enough that he'll think it's alright...

Also, the extended Pinkie Pie chant is a shout out to :iconbuttersc0tchsundae: and is from her fanfic "Adventures in Equestria." That thing makes me laugh so much I really felt it should sneak in here...

This seems like something that would be easy to make into a comic... I may do that at some point... I dunno...

If I do then I'll move this into scraps.


Green Eggs and Ham (C) Doctor Seuss
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (C) Lauren Faust and Hasbro
© 2011 - 2024 Midnight-Cobra
Comments14
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AndytheB-Artist's avatar
AndytheB-Artist
The original "Green Eggs and Ham" was made on a bet between Dr. Seuss and Bennett Cerf (his publisher) that Seuss make a book that had only fifty different words in it (his previous book, The Cat in the Hat, had 225 different words in it). Let's see if you pulled this off

(Checks for 10 minutes)

I found your 51st word. It's "Me", first used in the context of "Please leave me soon."

(Checks for 18 more minutes)

Your total word count comes to 108. Would you like a list of them?